Lets take a moment to just give some woman to woman advice: Do NOT press the send button! Don’t even waste your unlimited text messages explaining to someone your worth or how you feel. 9 times out of 10, they already know what they did wrong and playing dumb is their way out. 9 times out of 10, they saw your message and if they have the “read” receipt on, you see that they have read your message too (and if it just says “delivered”, they either didn’t open it and know you are trying to talk to them or still read it). 9 times out of 10, we can discern that this guy had “other” motives. Do NOT text him back….. ever, delete his number and this conversation and keep it moving.
I need everyone to virtually raise your hand if this has ever been you in a situation with a guy? (Am I the only one with my hand raised??)
Ladies, we have all been there. You meet a guy, he’s attractive to you, he then ask you for your number, pursues you hard, you all go out on a couple of dates and begin to spend some quality time with each other……and then poof! He gone! You never hear a word, text or call from him again. You initially think he has been very busy, or maybe he is in the hospital? Yea, that’s the reason he hasn’t hit you up yet. So, you give him a “hey” text….still no answer. You call him, the phone rings twice and goes straight to voicemail. You are assured he is not dead because you still see him “liking” other pictures on Instagram, or maybe he is still snappin’ away on Snapchat. Either way, you know he IS alive, but you seem to not be able to get a response out of him. If this has happened to you or even something similar, you have been in contact with a ghost…Mr. Ghost to be exact.
So what happens next? How did we even end up here? How do we get our dignity back from being, so-called “played”, “dissed” or whatever….
The Reality: He Wasn’t That Into You
Let’s get straight to the facts, Mr. Ghost never fully intended to court you responsibly because a guy who had clear intentions, would make them known to you without any confusion, gray area and inconsistency.
Sometimes, guys don’t really “like” us, they just give us attention and flirt with us because they want to see what we are like (see what we are like as a person or physically see what we are like). Guys are curious and some just want to explore.
You can tell a man’s character by the “fruit” that he displays. His actions speak louder than his words.
Matthew 7:15-20 New King James Version (NKJV)
15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. 16 You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? 17 Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Therefore by their fruits you will know them.
It doesn’t matter how cute he is, how much he tells you he likes you or how much he may tell you that he loves God, if his fruit, his actions and his intentions are not clear or are opposite of God’s will, RUN!
If a guy claims to really like you but makes attempts to sleep with you or touch you sexually, before marriage and then disappears when you didn’t give in (or even if you did give in, I pray God and the Holy Spirit reveals to you how precious your gift of your body is to someone who is worthy, like your God-ordained husband) you can see the fruit that he is bearing. Thank God he didn’t text back and never replied!
If he tries to communicate with you as time advances, resist, block and move on!
The Reality: You Are STILL In Good Hands
God has you in the palm of His hands! Rejoice in the fact that he never texted you back, answered any of your calls or even asked you out again! (rejoice in the fact that if you were physical with Mr. Ghost, and you desire to be forgiven, you are forgiven in Jesus name! I pray God heals your heart from all wounds and you desire to repent to not make the same mistake again)
God is intentionally hiding you and keeping you for your God-Ordained spouse. Be grateful and see the blessing in blatant signs! Hallelujah!
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 New King James Version (NKJV)
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Give thanks that God has actually removed this person from your life through a “no text back”. Honestly, who cares the reason why he never texted back, just be glad that he is gone. Don’t play detective in trying to find out if he is talking or seeing someone else either, lay that curiosity to rest and God will reveal why, when He chooses.
Our father knows all things and has our best interest at hand. If we have prayed about a guy continuously and we asked God to reveal his intentions to us, or maybe we asked God if “he was the one”, God will show us! We have to believe what the Lord shows us though. We get our answers to prayers, from reading His word and letting Him move in our life. Rejoice in the moves that Jesus makes!
The Reality: It’s Time To Woman Up!
Being in God’s hands also means displaying the character of His children. Do not retaliate, gossip or slander Mr. Ghost. This is hard and will be challenging but it can be done through the strength of the Holy Spirit. Ask God to humble us, control our tongues, thoughts and actions; then let Him take care of the rest.
Romans 12:17-21New King James Version (NKJV)
17 Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. 18 If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 Therefore
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Resist the urge to be PETTY! There are no cameras around and this is not a reality TV show, this is your reality.
Let’s grow up in our feelings and do the unthinkable: Pray for Mr.Ghost! Yes, you read correctly, pray for Mr. Ghost. Pray that he will mature in his intentions with women. It is not of God to play with anyones emotions or feelings in manipulation. Pray to God that Mr. Ghost receives all the grace and mercy he does not deserve, the same undeserved grace and mercy that we get everyday.
The Reality: Did God Even Tell You To “Chill” With Him?
Along with being a woman, is also realizing where we made our mistakes. Did we even ask God if this was the man that we should date or “chill” with? Be real and honest with yourself. Do we ask God about the men that have interest in us? Do we ask God His opinion about the guys we like? Did we ask God, truly wait on God’s answer and then move? Or, did we just move anyway, without no regard to the Holy Spirit?
Proverbs 3:6 New King James Version (NKJV)
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
What attracted us to Mr. Ghost in the first place? Why did we fall prey to his smooth words and charismatic ways?
Take a self examination on how vulnerable you may or may not have been at the time in meeting Mr. Ghost. Did you find yourself being desperate or impatient? Did you catch feelings too fast before you really had a chance to know him? Were you bored and just wanted someone to talk to and ended up catching feelings? It’s okay, we ALL have been there, but once we know better, we must do better, in Jesus name!
Let’s invite God into our dating lives and give Him full control and access to our own intentions and motives. Maybe, if we acknowledged the Lord in our decisions before we made them and waited on His answer, we could have alleviated a complete headache and waste of time?
This is real and it happens to the best of us. By God’s grace we will not be shattered, embarrassed or discouraged because one or a couple of guys disappeared. We will rejoice and thank God for snatching a distraction from our lives. Do not give yourself up physically, sexually, mentally or emotionally to someone who God has not approved and did not send. Do not give yourself up physically, sexually, mentally or emotionally to someone who does not intend to court you seriously and make provisions for you to be his wife one day. And looking forward, Do not give yourself up physically, sexually, mentally or emotionally to someone who has not officially said “I, do”.
If Mr. Ghost wants to go, let him go….Bye!