Since the early ‘90s and ‘00s, women have been overwhelmed with the constant theme of independence through film, media or music. In 2000, my all-time favorite female group, Destiny’s Child, dropped “Independent Women” and it was an instant hit among women of all races, cultures, and backgrounds. It became an anthem for all women who defied odds, dominated all areas of their lives, and provided for herself without the assistance of man. Independent women were and still are celebrated throughout the world. A woman who lives independently develops an independent mindset. An independent mindset causes us to rely on and trust in ourselves for everything; whereas, a dependent mindset causes us to rely on and trust in someone other than ourselves.
However, when we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are to shift from independence to total dependence on God. For some of us, that is uncharted waters we have not trodden before, but it is indeed possible for us to transition from independent women to dependent daughters of God. It can present itself as a challenge to some of us who have been living independently for years.
If we take a deeper study into independence we will discover that independence is a byproduct of an orphan spirit.
In ancient times, fatherless children were orphans. Orphans were left to care for themselves because they no longer had a father to protect or provide for them. Many of us are living in the same manner as if we don’t have a Heavenly Father who we can depend on and trust to provide every need for us. Our father desires us to be free from that orphan spirit and independent mindset, so we can experience depending on someone else who is far greater, stronger, and powerful than us. In addition, independence allows us to be in control because we are moving all the pieces and handling life on our own. Whereas dependency calls for submission which requires us to give God control over every area of our lives. Some of us are selectively submitting certain areas of our lives to God. For instance, I’ll say God I give you control over my finances, family, and career but not the gossiping, jealously, or anger that’s residing in my heart. God wants it all but we have to submit to His will and trust Him.
The word dependency is seen as the bubonic plague by society and even some of us because we do not want to label ourselves as a dependent. Our society taught us that dependency equates to weakness, which is a characteristic that we do not want to own. In contrast, God doesn’t view dependency as society or us. He sees our dependency as a strength because we are humble enough to admit that we need Him. Pride keeps us in an independent state because we want to prove that we have it all together and that we can carry the weight of our burdens. There is a liberating place in God where we can rest (Matthew 11:28).
If we are completely honest, some of us are frightened by the idea of dependency because we are carrying wounds that were created by loved ones that we depended on, and they failed us. Due to us creating a covenant with ourselves never to endure that pain again; we depend, trust, and rely on ourselves because we think that it is safer that way. God says in Joshua 1:5, “For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.” For us to be dependent daughters, we must believe in his promises to us. We must believe within our heart that our heavenly Father will not fail or abandon us as people have. On this journey of becoming a dependent daughter, we cannot view God in the same light as we view people. My point is this; He is not the person or people who hurt, failed or abandoned you.
However, there is hope. The orphan spirit breaks when we learn the identity of our Heavenly Father and believe in His character. The enemy cannot distort our view of God when we are fully aware of our Father’s identity and his place in our lives. We don’t have to operate in our strength and power; God desires for us to move and operate in His strength and power. Our Father wants us to entrust ourselves to Him. We do not have to live as orphans because He will not leave us to handle life by ourselves. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Our Father desires for us to trust in Him because he knows what’s best. Our most important action is to allow God to be our Father and in control of our lives. So, let’s start living as dependent daughters and no longer as independent women.