Up until a certain period most, if not all, of the teachings on soul ties that I had ever heard were always linked to sexual relationships.
As someone who has always maintained abstinence I never thought I could ever experience this phenomenon. I’ve always been one to protect myself as much as possible from negative consequences, I’d rather prevent issues than spend time trying to resolve problems I could have avoided in the first place. It hasn’t always worked, obviously! But where I can help it, that is my preferred approach to life! As such, I lived and dated with simple, straightforward rules – we can hang out, make out and try out some of the other things they have explicitly told me not to do at youth meetings etc (don’t be judging me out there) but we can’t cross that fine line of having sex if you haven’t put a ring on it, mainly due to wanting to obey God on this one and more than anything else – fear of MAMA! I told you in an earlier post/video that I’m a mathematical and somewhat pragmatic person didn’t I, so clear cut rules = clear cut results. Right? I wish!!!!
You see, this way of dating had worked before. As such, when I entered a forbidden relationship with this same strategy I expected no soul tie issues at all.
On the contrary though, I think we sometimes underestimate the equal importance of emotional purity.
We deceive ourselves into thinking that if we do not actually ‘commit’ the seemingly huge sin then we are sin-less and we can get away with it. We deceive ourselves by playing these ‘one leg in, one leg out’ games with sin and the enemy, without fully grasping what seeds we are sowing with our actions. We compromise and dilute the standards God has set for us to live by.
Soul ties are sometimes created when we constantly want to fill a void with man, that only God can fill.
When we get to the place where we constantly seek the approval and validation of specific people we make them an idol in our lives. Emotional relationships particularly have this effect and that is why we struggle to let go of hurtful incidents that resulted from being betrayed by loved ones, bitterness that has grown from rejection, or disappointment from the people we were once close to who may have let us down. We underestimate this at times.
Having realised the situation I was in I prayed earnestly to God to help me break free from the soul tie I had entangled myself in. It was quite a long journey though I don’t believe it takes that long for everyone. I’ll admit that initially I had not truly identified all the seeds of sin in my life and the thing that fed this sin. This was a crucial step. My need for validation, specifically the validation of a man, and the lost parts of me are what had created these voids. (No, I’m not one of those girls that have ‘Daddy issues’ – I have one of the best Dad’s in the world!!! However, there was a season where I sought the validation of another man, in a romantic manner/nature, I wanted a man to choose ‘me’– story for another day!). Part of the process includes being honest with yourself and where you are on the journey to your healing.
Fasting also helped me out. That is not one of my most favourite things to do (I’m just being honest’) but when we make the sacrifice and subject ourselves to obedience of the Holy Spirit by the grace of God He breaks chains and strongholds.
Whilst we strive for physical purity in our bodies, we must give equal attention to our emotional purity. Our hearts are from where the issues of life flow. Let’s be careful to avoid getting into emotional conveniences with the incorrect people.
Whenever we realise we are in a bad soul tie with someone we must sever it. If we do not sever it, we give other people, the ones with whom we have soul ties, control over us, and before we know it we are in a constant cycle of back and forth with them within our emotions. When you are in such a place there is no progress because whilst time moves, and the days move in the natural, from one to the next, your state of being within does not actually move forward. It behaves almost like a pendulum, because your soul is tied and fixed to a place and a person. It is very possible for one’s emotions and time to be stuck in a certain place whilst in the physical they are elsewhere
Some steps to breaking these are summarized below:
– Confess and repent of the sins that have given rise to the soul ties. Accept God’s forgiveness.
– If you made any vows, covenants and promises with the persons with whom you have soul ties, renounce them. Proverbs 6:2 reads “Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth; thou art taken with the words of thy mouth.” The words we speak can bind us in the spiritual realm and so we need to cancel all such covenants made.
– Forgive the people that have offended you and forgive yourself as well for any wrongs committed.
– Dispose of all gifts and memorabilia exchanged between the two of you. You must get rid of these as they can continue to remind you of the people and keep you tied to
– Renounce and break the soul ties in Jesus’ name. Pray to God to break off the soul tie.
When you have eventually broken off the soul ties, guard your heart diligently! (1 Peter 5:8 – Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.)
Who is Thuli?
Thuli Dube, is a Chartered Accountant, Author and Publishing Consultant, who finds her therapy, healing and release in writing. Nurturing a beautiful love affair between her pen and paper, Thuli draws her inspiration from scripture, life events, pictures, almost anything! She has a heart for young women and a passion for youth education and empowerment. Born and raised in Zimbabwe, she currently resides in the Channel Islands. Thuli believes in living a purpose driven life and making an impact on her immediate community. She aspires to enable individuals to fully realise what they were created to accomplish. She also assists other budding authors with tools and skills to publish their manuscripts and distribute them globally. She is the author of ‘The Scent of Freedom, Rest in You’, a memoir about finding healing and freedom from the past and insecurities and learning to forgive oneself for their mistakes. In 2016, she was nominated for the Author of the Year Award for the 2016 Zimbabwe International Women’s Award and was also featured in the Gumiguru’s Zimbabwean Top 40 Emerging Leaders under 30 for the year 2016.